How Fear Keeps You from Building a Writing Business You Love
What fears do you grapple with as a writer? Do you feel like they’re keeping you from the business and income you dream about? I struggled with fear for so long and it held me back...and honestly, I still struggle with fear, but it doesn’t prevent me from taking action. On the live today, let’s go over how fear can keep you from having a business you love and writing to your full potential.
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Okay. Have you ever thought about the fears that keep you back in your business, like really, really thought about them? Not just thought about them in a way that you're just like, Oh, that's scary or, Oh, like reaching out to this person is really nerve-wracking. I actually thought about the mental roadblocks that keep you from building a business you love. So for me, a lot of the times where I really couldn't get past certain things in my business, it was because I was afraid I had all of these roadblocks that I had built in my mind and all of these fears from years and years ago that I needed to get over in order to move forward in my business and really build something that I, I was excited about and that I love, Oh, hi Vicki, happy new year. So we're walking into 2021.
I'm hoping that we're going to kind of go over what fears are kind of holding you back. And then what types of things that you can do to kind of move forward. So fear holds us back in a number of different ways, right? It keeps us from sending pitches to big time editors or reaching out to really large companies. Fear keeps us from taking the next step in our business when we're pretty sure that's what we should be doing. We're really scared to like get out of our comfort zone and move somewhere where the territory is unfamiliar. And we're not really sure. Hi, productionist says good job, Vicky. So I'm sorry. It was a laugh there. So when you're thinking about fears, there's a lot of different ways that they kind of come in. Like it's not just the obvious ones. Sometimes there's like, for me, it took me a while to realize I was really afraid of success.
I was really afraid that I would never be able to handle it, that if I had success, it would go away really quickly that it was kind of like a one trick pony type of thing where I was like, yeah, I can do this really well, but I can't do it consistently. Or I was afraid that if I succeeded that everyone would have these crazy expectations of me and I wouldn't be able to do it. I was afraid that success meant all these different things. Like it meant that I had to do all these things or that all of these expectations I held for myself were we're just going to be magically realized the day I felt successful. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I've made X amount of money. Or I got this client or this thing happened. And that fear really kept me back and held me from what I really wanted to be doing.
And the clients I wanted to work with and the pieces I wanted to write and the ideas that I had for my business. So there's a lot of different ways where we grapple kind of with fear as writers. And it's not just like turning in big pieces. Like there's a few pieces that I've written over the course of my career. That really meant a lot to me. Like they were very, it was really important to me that they were accurate representations of the topic and the interviewees or whatever I was, you know, speaking about or interviewing about like, it's really important to me to capture that specifically in the way that I think they meant it. And that brings me fear because it's like, well, what if the editor changes it? Or what if the editor hates it? Or what if it's not quite right?
And they changed something. And then the person who reads it is like, well, I don't feel like that's accurate or you kind of changed what I said. There's a lot of different fears that come up. Like, what if you're fearful of working with multiple different editors? What if you work with a big publication and you have like five different editors looking at your stuff, what if you're afraid that you can't handle that many people or you're afraid of being overwhelmed or you're afraid of failing? That was one of my big ones was like, I was afraid of being over. Like I was already overwhelmed and I was afraid that I would just fail that like someday the rug would get pulled out from under me. And I would just fail. Just, I dunno, like I would just fail at everything I was doing that I wouldn't qualify that I didn't know how to do it.
That I basically just was a writer and I couldn't, I couldn't figure it out. Right. Like, I didn't think about it as that I could figure it out or that I could have confidence that, you know, maybe this isn't the right client. I just need to find the right one. It was more like, basically everything I did, I would just fail at. And I was the worst. And I used to be really upset about it. I used to cry to my production assistant about about all of these different things and you know, all of these different fears I had that I wasn't good enough or I couldn't do it, or I was dumb or what I was writing was stupid or that everyone else was better than me. And I feel like these fears, a lot of times hold you back from just taking action, even small steps, even little things that you can do to just kind of move forward, because it feels so heavy.
It feels like you're kind of dragging this aircraft carrier behind you all the time. Like you're trying to move forward where you're like, hold on, let me get my aircraft carrier. We just, we just got to pull it a little bit further so we can get a little bit farther up, you know, and, and fear really holds us back from working with clients who value our work, because we're always taking the small jobs that just come in. We start doing this thing where as long as it's in our inbox, we're cool with it coming in. And as long as it's easy or comfortable or something we've done before, before or something we can kind of do pretty quickly, then it ends up being, we just kind of sit in. We don't go after the clients. Cause we're like, Oh, well, this client's really difficult to deal with.
And I'm only at this level. Well, what if I go here and it's way worse. Well, what I found is like, as you find better clients who are a better fit for you and they have the work you really want to be doing, like that stuff all goes away. They really see value in your work. They understand what it's like to work with someone who's a real writer. They see where the content is going. They have an of scope, they have an idea of strategy or like vision or they have a lot of different things where they they have to what they're doing rather than just someone who's like, I need the writer to do this thing. And you know, kind of what we talked about in another video is like, you don't really want to be on the side of like someone who needs a writer who comes up to me and like, I just need a writer for this.
Like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You want someone who's like, I need this content written and I like your samples or I like your style. Or I want to see if we can work together as a unit, as a team, rather than just like, I need a writer. Like I tried to do this and it took me an hour. So it used to take you like 30 minutes. I was like, no. Oh, hi Getty. Have you 21. I'm trying to say hi to people as I pop in. So feel free to hop in the chat. If you pop in and say hello. And if you feel like this has been helpful so far, so far hit the light button or hit subscribe below. If you ever have anything you want me to cover, feel free to drop it in there. So fear, fear pulls you back from a lot of different things that you're trying to do in your business, but it also prevents you from building a lot of things that create the business that you really want to have.
So fear can keep you from going forward on some crazy ideas you have. Like, I have some crazy ideas for my business. Like, I'll tell you one of them right now. Like something I've come across in the last, I don't know, six months maybe is that someday I would really like to be an angel investor. This is kind of like a crazy dream that I, I, I don't know. I just kind of started falling in love with startups and falling in love with like helping people make their business a reality. And for me, I think it would be really cool to have a ton of money, but then invest in the things that I think will really help a large amount of people or, you know, like one of the things like what if there was a company that was creating health insurance just for freelancers, like not the places that are like, Oh yeah, we insure freelancers.
Like, yeah, I guess we'll do that. No, like a company that was really like, hell bent on creating quality health insurance, or medical, or like a dental and vision, whatever insurance for freelancers. And like, if I was an angel investor, I could give them some money to kind of help them, you know, get their stuff all together. And you know, which would really help a lot of different freelancers in a lot of different areas. And to me, that is a really scary dream because not only do you have to have money for all of the things you're doing in your business and paying your bills bills and keeping a roof over your head and all the other things that happen, you have to have enough extra money available to invest as get into other people's businesses where you may not ever get it back.
Right. You, you, wouldn't in angel investors, you know, they're hoping for basically a 25 to 60 ish or something return rate or 25 to 40, I can't remember the number, but they're hoping for that. But if the business fails or it doesn't work out, like then your money is gone, that's different than venture capital money, right. It's different than going through series a or B or C or whatever. Angel investors kind of come in a little bit earlier. So for me, that's a very big dream and it's scary a lot on a lot of different levels. And, you know, basically by giving someone money, you're kind of believing in their dream, believing in business and also saying that, you know, you kind of trust them to make the right decisions. So there's a lot of different factors in that, but it's a big thing that I've been really been thinking about for a long time.
And we're talking like several years down the road where I'd be able to do this, but it still scares me. It's, it's something that I'm really afraid to give someone, you know, a huge pile of money and invest in a business, even if I believe in it. Like what if they, what if it all falls apart? Or, you know, that's, that's a lot. Right. And if I had worry, if I stick to this fear of all these different things going wrong, then I'm, I may never get to that place where I was like, wow, it would be really cool and exciting to do that. And something I've been marinating on for quite some time. And I probably will marinate on it for quite some time in the future, but I don't really let that all that fearful stuff. Like I'm kind of processing, I'm kind of thinking about it, but I'm not letting it stop me from dreaming about that.
I'm not letting it stop me from seeing, well, what would that take and what does that mean? And where would my business be? Like, what does my business look like? If I'm an angel investor, what does my business look like if I have this, this, this, and this all together, working as one business under medialis, LLC, if I had thought about all the fears and all the scary stuff that had held held me back, right? That would just stop me from moving forward with all the things I think are really cool. It would stop me from launching products or courses or other types of things I have in my mind that I really want to do. And I think when we start focusing only on the fearful stuff, we forget all the cool stuff that could happen from kind of dealing with those fears. Like what if I invested in a business and it worked out and it became this really great hub for freelancers to get health insurance or for restaurants to get something like restaurants or one of my like one of my topics that I write about a lot.
So I feel very strongly about restaurant owners and the, like the services and all the different things that they have. So for me, if I sit there and I think about all the cool stuff that could come from it and all the things that could happen or the neat stuff that I'd be able to do, or the donations I'd be able to give or volunteer hours or mentorship or anything that would come with kind of being an angel investor like that makes me way more excited than being fearful. So when we're thinking about our writing careers, I don't think we spend enough time in the parts that are possible rather than sending in all the fear and being like, Oh my God, there's a black book. And if I don't pitch this editor, right, they're going to put me in this book and I'm never going to dah, dah, dah.
Like there is no book. There is no magic resource. Like there are plenty of people who don't do great jobs with their pieces or with their work who worked for several different editors and they just keep moving around and moving around. So I'm telling you that making mistakes, being scared like that stuff is normal, but it shouldn't keep you from taking action. And as long as you kind of show up and do your work and pay attention and do what you're asked, like you'll build that confidence as you keep completing tasks and you'll kind of move further away from the fear part and you'll move more towards the possibility part. So instead of spending all this time worrying about, well, what will happen or what could happen or what might happen, or like, if I do this thing wrong or if I get stuck in perfectionism or if I don't turn things in on time, or if I do this other thing, like if you spend all your time marinating there, you're not actually spending any time in what you could be doing or what's possible or taking action.
A lot of my, you know, one of my biggest mistakes was that I spent too much time ruminating and all of my fears, like it, it took me way too long to me, at least to, to get over some of my fears. And they never happened. Like, you know, mean me now, looking back at all those years where I was scared about reaching out or scared about marketing or scared about all these things. Like none of it happened, none of it haven't I spent all this time worrying about it and it never happened. So I hope that you're kind of thinking about all the things that pop up that you think might happen and what the likelihood of those things happening is. So for me, a lot of times I thought about all of these things and I would just like, kind of take some action, but not enough.
And I would read things where people were like, Oh, well you have to sell yourself or you have to do this thing or you have to XYZ. And for me, a lot of times it wasn't, it's not selling myself. It's, it's asking, do you need help? Like that realization of asking someone like, do you need help with your content or realizing that you're asking them about being part of a team, or you're just reaching out to say like, Hey, is there something that you can kind of like offload to make your life easier? That to me made a lot more sense than me. Like, no, we have to market to sell our business, to get people on board. Like, you know, and that fear of selling really kind of solved itself once I figured out what worked for me. So when you're thinking about all of your fears, and you're thinking about the things in your business that holds you back, what are the things that you feel like are, have a low probability of?
And what are the things that you feel like you're kind of making up in your mind to be basically making a mountain out of a mole? I think that thinking about those things really helps you build a business that you love because you're able to identify them. Therefore you're able to solve them when you kind of spend time ruminating being and thinking about, sorry, when you spend time thinking about all the things that could go wrong, or you spend time that you could marketing or having client calls or thinking about, you know, planning for the future, then you're, you're not going to get it back. You spend all this time in fear land, and you didn't even spend any time disability land. So, Oh, and Getty has a good comment here. So yeah, this was, this was one of my, you know, big issues was that he says, I'm an expert ruminator right now.
I'm more a ruminator than I am a writer. And I had this problem for a long time, like months, if not years, like I would ruminate more on my fears and be more scared about what could happen or that I couldn't do it. Or that someone expected these crazy things from me or that it had to be perfect or it had to be this, that, and the other thing. And that like it, because it wasn't perfect. Someone didn't get back to me. It, it kept me from writing a lot. So I think that's a really important thing to figure out, like, are you someone who kind of stews in that stuff rather than stewing in the possibilities? Are you someone who can't really take action until you figure out like all these fears, right? You feel like, Oh, I can't move forward until I do this.
And really, that's just a fear. It's a mindset thing rather than it being, you know, well, if I move forward anyways, I'll kind of figure it out. So I'm hoping that when we're talking about fear, there are mindset things that you can think about. Like how can you kind of move, move forward? Can you do some meditation? Can you write down your fears in a journal? Can you talk to a therapist? Can you just try to do it anyways? Like sometimes I would get really freaked out and I would just do it anyways. I'd be like, well, I sent it like, I guess we're doing that. You, can you think of it as an experiment rather than putting so much pressure on yourself to send the perfect pitch or the perfect LOI or reach out to this thing? Just think of it as a fun experiment.
Like, man, I'm trying, like, I'm just going to try this and see what happens and try this and see what happens. And I feel like that's a much stronger way to go about it if you're just, if you were just trying and seeing what works that kind of gives you, it makes it fun. It doesn't make it this like fearful, scary, like, Oh my God, I'm sending all these things to all these people. It's just kind of like, cool. That was fun. Let's try again. Cool. That was fun. Let's try again. Or, Oh, that didn't really work, but Oh, well, like I was just trying it out. I was just experimenting. It kind of like lifts you out of the fear zone and puts you kind of back at neutral where you're like, I'm just trying it out, just, you know, figuring it out. And I think with your fear mentality, like trying these different things out, like, can it be an experiment or can it just be something that you just do one day?
You're like, you know what, Tuesday, you know, February, whatever, I'm just trying this out. I'm just doing it on this day. We're just gonna figure it out. I think that just kind of pushing yourself a little bit, you know, and maybe like giving yourself points, like maybe what works for you is you're like, cool. I spent four hours today doing all this stuff that really scared me. Maybe I'll go for a walk or maybe I'll hang out with my dog and watch a movie, or maybe I'll get a treat like, or maybe all, you know, go get a pizza or maybe I'll go out to dinner or like get, take out with, you know, my significant other with my friends or like some sort of reward for stepping out of your comfort zone, but also making it fun. There's a lot of ways to challenge yourself, to move out of fear and to move into something that doesn't feel so.
So like it's taking the air out of you all the time. It's, it's a way to kind of make it exciting and fun and, and not so like we're taking it out of here where we like stew and ruminate and we're just putting it out into the world. Like we're putting it into our computer. We're not sitting there with all these ideas and all these things and all of these thoughts that may or may not come true. And we're just saying, you know what, today I'm just going to go for it. So I'm hoping that when you're thinking about all your fear stuff and building a business, you love, I hope that it doesn't hold you back from all these things. Like sometimes you just have to do it. One of the things I learned in my freelance business Nan, I think a few years ago, it was kind of that sometimes you just kind of have to leap and figure it out on the way down.
And that was something I used to hate hearing. I was like, no, I don't want to leave. I want a plan. I want to know how long is my, like, when is my parachute going to deploy? Like, what's going on? How far am I from the ground? Like I wanted to like, you know, be super anal about all of those things. Like I am type a, I want a plan. I want all that stuff, but there's a piece of being a small business owner and a freelance writer that you kind of have to let go of control that you can't control, who gets back to you, you can't control who works with you. You can't control a lot of different things in your business. And when I realized that there's certain pieces that you have to let go of control, that's when I kind of realized like, Oh, that leap part makes a lot more sense.
The leap part is kind of like letting go of some of the control. The leap part is like, I have what I have and I'm just going to try, you know, and the leap part is like, yeah, maybe there's a safety net under there. Maybe the leap is like, I'm only jumping down three feet to the ground or whatever, but sometimes you just have to take that leap and let go of control. Like instead of sitting in the fear and wanting to control every little piece and trying to basically prevent anything bad from happening ever, which will net, you know, it's not possible. Sometimes you just have to just go for it, just take the leap. And I can tell you that every time I've told this to so many different writers, every time I've taken a leap in my business, a worked out way better than I ever imagined.
I couldn't believe like every time I do it, I just can't believe it. I'm like, I just can't believe it. Cause I'm like, so freaked out. I'm so scared. And then I take the leap and then I'm like, Oh, it wasn't as bad as I thought at all, like, wow, this is way better than I thought, like this actually worked out. It's not even just that it didn't work. And that was like a cool experiment. Let's move on. It was like, it actually worked. It worked out and I'm just encouraging you to take the leap. This is 2021. I don't know how old you are or where you are or what you're doing right now. But I've always had this weird thing with time where like, we're always running out of time. We're always running out of time. Like every year that you're alive, the herd of people that were born that year, that you were is thinning every year.
The herd of people in whatever year you were born is thinning and thinning. Since the day you were born. It's been thin. And for me, when I think about time, I didn't just like, I don't have time to wait anymore. I don't have time to sit in fear. I don't have time to not build a business that I'm really psyched about. I don't have time. Like I, there it's running out and that motivates me to kind of get stuff done. So we're all kind of running out of time and we need to get these things done. So moving from fear to kind of moving to a place where you're like, Hey, I can just do this, like the world, isn't going to end horrible stuff. Isn't going to just like randomly fall on my head. Like everything's going to be okay. And taking that leap out of fear, just like letting go of control a little bit.
Like you don't have to do a huge jump the first time, but just little jumps along the way. Like I can tell you from experience, it was one of my biggest fears, like just letting go of control and just taking a leap and just trying stuff. And every time I did it, it turned out way better than I ever thought. So I hope that was helpful. And I'm going to answer a few questions now, but Oh, and we'll do a little pup date cause they're over there sleeping. But I hope that was helpful so far because fear is really one of the biggest things in my business that has held me back. It, I kind of spent years working on trying to get out of all of these fears of things that never happened or things I was worried about and things that I thought was just basically career ending and it just never, it just never happened. So I'm hoping that you kind of, this kind of motivates you to move out of fear a little bit and take a leap. So I'm going to look that through the chat and see if there's any questions in here and then we'll do a little pup date while that's happening. So I'll show you them
There, there, there hope they moved. There's one of them being grumpy. Hello? Grumpy. You want to Rito? Oh my gosh, girl. You come over here. Good job. Wait. Okay. Good job. You're the best. Wait. Okay. Good girl. Oh bear. You want one where? You're far away. Can you come over here? Can you go over here? Oh, good job, buddy. Hi, you look super cute. Good job. Good job. All right. Cool. All right,
Everyone got their tree dos bear. Bear kind of got sick today. So we're trying not to give him too much extra stuff because he's not feeling super great. So let's see if there's any questions
You guys. Okay.
Okay. So here's something from Getty where he says, I excelled as a customer marketing analysts and marketing support specialists and not as strong when it comes to marketing me and what I can do. Yeah. So this is one of the things that I think is really important. So we're not actually necessarily marketing like ourselves in what we can do necessarily. We're asking people if they need help and then explaining how together we can work to solve their problems, it's not really about explaining to someone like, Oh, I can do this for you and I can get results. And I can [inaudible] it's not really about that. It's about saying like pool I'm do like reaching out with that LOI. Do you need help? And then if they say, yeah, we need help with this. Then it's about kind of explaining how you work together to solve that problem.
Like they're like, yeah, we need this to get more leads. We need this to get more sales downloads, subscribers likes whatever they, their goal is. And you're going to explain like, okay, well when we do this type of content, this happens and a lot of this learning can be done on your own time. Like I like HubSpot. I like Neil Patel who talks a lot about SEO, but HubSpot has a lot of free courses. That'll teach you about content marketing or sales funnels or email marketing or writing blog posts or any of these things. And it'll take you, it'll kind of give you all these metrics that you should look for. So when someone's like, how do we accomplish this? You already know, you know, from reading all these articles and staying up to date on what works and what doesn't. So it's not so much about saying like, well, I can do this.
That's not the point. They don't care what you can do. They care. It's basically like, what have you done for me lately? Right. So it's kind of like that where you're like, yeah, we can do this and it'll work out like this. Like we have a blog post and I've noticed that recently, a lot of experts like Neil Patel, HubSpot are talking about blog posts that are a thousand words to 2000 words are being favored by Google. And that's because of, you know, whatever they said in their articles. And what you're doing is sharing the knowledge that you have built over the course of doing all this research for different types of content. So what we want to do there is not about like, you know, we're, there's certain things that we bring to the table. Like I'm really detail oriented. I love research and interview. So those are my specific skills, but I didn't have those when I started, like, I was a good researcher, but I hadn't interviewed anybody. Well, at least not like professionally. And those are things I honed over time. So you want to kind of stick to things that you can, you know, that you can build your knowledge base in, but then also honed skills that you can build on as you build your business. So, because she knows you're going to give Trudeau's now she does. She's still sitting there, like I'll pop her back in.
So there she is. Oh, you gotta get done. She's still waiting to sit in like a sad stuffed animal. That's her life sad, stuffed animal life. You're that's so funny.
Here you go there. Good job. You want one more easy girl. Good job.
You're the best. All right. So let's see. Vicki says, you said it feels the same way as it, about time, because time is like a very, like, I am very time is a really interesting concept to me. And like, just, I've always thought about time in very specific ways like that we're running out of it and that like, there's only so much time. So like, we can't be like doing all these other stuff. Like we have things we want to get done in our lifetime. We got to start now. Okay. If you guys have any other questions, you can pop them in the chat. If you feel like this has been helpful so far, feel free to subscribe below or hit the like button. But if you guys have any other questions, we only have like a little bit of time left, so drop them in the chat.
But I know for me, a lot of times the questions I get is like, how do you motivate yourself to move beyond your fears? Like, how do you actually do it? And it's for me, I don't think it's about motivation. I think it's just actually doing it and teaching your brain that you're not going to die. Like for me, a lot of times it has been that I thought all these horrible things were going to happen. I was super freaked out and then I did it anyways and it was fine. So I think a lot of times it's the ways to move through your fear is to kind of take a step by step, like do a little bit every day. It's kind of chipping away at it. You're chipping away at the fears by building confidence, by taking action, by doing the things you need to do, like completing assignments or turning in your work to clients on time and or early, or by negotiating negotiating a better contract or like there's all these little wins.
I think people forget about along the way. Like there's all these little wins. I think people forget while they're trying to move, Oh my God, I'm trying to get past my fears. And it's already been like two weeks or three months and I haven't done it. Like it can take you years. Like I would probably be further in my business if I hadn't let fear hold me back for so long. Like I would be, I don't know where I'd be, but I, I hope like I would hope that if I didn't spend all this time worrying about these things that didn't happen, I could have actually moved forward and taken action. So the next kind of thing I want you guys to do, especially going into 2021, like the first business day of 2021 on Monday is just take some sort of action that you've been scared to do and just do it, just do it.
Some little thing. It could be one email. It could be one pitch. It could be one LinkedIn reach out. It could be one cold call. If you're into cold calling, it could be one client that you raise your rates on and say like, I'm sorry, but 2021, these are my rates. It could be that the next new inbound leads you get, you decide, you want to, you know, not do that type of project anymore. Let's say you're like, you know what? I'm not doing blog posts this year, or I'm not doing white papers anymore. I'm not doing webinar decks or whatever it is. Like just make one small decision that you can kind of take the leap on. Not an easy thing. I don't want you to kind of skip out on the, on the overcoming the fear part, make one decision that kind of scares you a little bit.
That makes you feel uneasy and just stick with it. Just take one step and that'll help you move past a lot of your fears and build some confidence. It'll feel really, I know that when I've done it, I felt really like powerful. I felt like I could do anything. Like it was something really small, like sending one LOI or sending one pitch to a big magazine. I was like, yeah, I can do anything. Yes. You know, and it was just something little. So I'm challenging you to just take one step. That feels really, really like a leap. Okay. Just take one on January 4th. And then if you do, and something good happens from it. Just send me an email or you can comment on this video below. And I would love to hear how it turned out. Cause I'm, I'm going to guess that it turned out way better than you thought. So I hope this was helpful and happy 20, 21. I'm looking forward to a year filled with really cool stuff and expansion for freelance writers and who knows maybe someday there'll be a company to invest in. That's just freelance, freelance insurance. So we'll see. But yeah. So happy 20, 21. See you later.
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